Forget Regret
by OrangeRose14
Summary: Something terrible happens to Mimi and it causes her to rethink many choices she has made in her life. Angel's alive
1. A night alone is a night spent in terror

**Forget Regret**

**Chapter One**

Mimi sat in the corner of her bathroom staring at her crimson blood glistening in the light. She watched as it seeped from her veins, onto her arm, and dripped onto the wet tiles. She listened to the high pitched noise of the shower and the pitter-patter of the water as it hit the bloodstained floor.

She sat sobbing, wet, and shivering with only a small towel wrapped around her. She stared at the piece of artwork she had created on her arm. She hated herself. She hated herself for letting all this happen to her, she hated herself for doing things she swore she would never do, she hated feeling like she had no control over anything. But most of all she hated the person she had become.

It all started one night when she was walking home from the Cat Scratch. She had been in a very good mood as she had done very well that night and had made a lot of tips. She happily walked down the alley in the late summer heat when she was stopped by someone who had been at the club that night. She flashed him a quick smile and tried to keep walking but he stepped in front of her.

"You did a great job tonight," he said staring her down.

"Glad you think so. Thanks for the tips," Mimi replied quietly. She recognized this man to be the one that had thrown a few twenties at her.

"You deserved it. But you know I think I deserve something as well. What do you say I slip you a hundred for a little something in exchange?"

"Uh, no thanks," Mimi said. She tried to get by him but he grabbed her hand. He pulled her close to him and started to caress her cheek.

"Come on," he said.

"Let go of me!" Mimi said. Her voice was shaky and a tear ran down her cheek but she pushed him away and he let go. She started to run away, but he was faster. He grabbed her and held a knife to her throat.

"It won't be bad. I promise you'll like it." While he said this he pressed the knife into her throat. It broke the skin and a trickle of blood slid down her neck. She tried to yell for help but the only sound she could muster was a small pitiful squeal. He took the knife away and whipped her around. She sobbed while he ripped off her clothes and ran his hands up and down her body.

He through her on the ground causing her to hit her head on the concrete and bleed. She layed there helpless as he violated her. She layed there sobbing un able to control anything that was happening and her whole life changed that night that she was brutally raped.


	2. Don't tell

Chapter Two

Mimi shook as she knocked on the door of Maureen and Joanne's apartment. She didn't know where else to go she wanted to be near women not men, even if those men were Roger Mark Collins or Angel.

She had been left by the man who raped her on the warm concrete in the dark alley. She had been naked and bleeding, and after she calmed down enough to put her torn and bloody clothes on she walked the three blocks to where Maureen and Joanne lived.

Mimi stood on the stoup waiting for someone to answer the door. About five minutes later a very pissed off Maureen opened the door.

"Who the hell do you-" Maureen began, but stopped when she saw Mimi. The young Latina's normally beautiful face had numerous cuts and bruises, and there was a large gash across her neck. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were ripped, and she looked scared out of her mind.

"Mimi what- what happened?" Were the only words Maureen could push past the lump she felt forming in her throat. She had never seen the 19 year old like this and she felt she might crumble at the sight of her.

"Can I um, crash here tonight?" Mimi said as a few salty tears slid down her cheeks.

Maureen led her into the apartment and Mimi sat down on the small, soft, green couch.

"Jo! Joanne!" Maureen yelled loudly. Joanne walked out of the bedroom in blue pajama pants, a white tank top, and fuzzy pink slippers.

"What?" Joanne said angrily her eyes still closed. When she opened them she gasped. "Mimi! Sweetie what happened?" She said in the calmest voice she could manage. Joanne sat down on the armrest of the couch next to Maureen. Mimi took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and finally let out the words,

"He raped me." Mimi's tears slowly turned into sobs as she sat there. She was so scared. Hell, she wasn't scared she was terrified. "I was just walking home," Mimi continued, speaking through sobs. "And he stepped in front of me. He, he wouldn't let me go. He wouldn't let me go."

"Who?" Maureen asked quietly. Mimi just shook her head. She tried to wipe at her tears, but stopped when she ended up touching a cut on her face.

Joanne hugged Mimi. She was trying to be careful not to touch any of Mimi's injuries or cause her anymore pain then she was already in. Maureen went into the bathroom and returned with a wet washcloth and tried to wipe some of the blood and dirt off of Mimi's face, but the dancer pulled away. Deciding that it would be best to not fight with Mimi Maureen reluctantly took her hand away and carelessly threw the washcloth on the coffee table.

"Please," Mimi began. "Please, don't tell Roger."

"Mimi," Joanne started, but the Latina cut her off.

"No! Please, he doesn't need to know."

"Mimi," Maureen said. "He has to know. Look at you it's not like you can just hide this. Sweetie he cares about you. He deserves to know."

"No, I, I don't want him to worry about me. I don't want him to cling to me asking me if I'm all right, if I need anything. I can't deal with that right now.

"Well, then if you won't let us tell him will you at least let us take to the hospital?" Joanne asked.

**A/N: I'm sorry I know it's really short but I felt bad because I haven't updated in a really long time. Please review!**


	3. Goodbye Love

Chapter Three

Mimi woke up drenched in sweat. She sat up and looked around trying to remember where she was. She scanned the small room and was comforted a little when she saw Joanne asleep in the chair next to the bed. Now she remembered where she was, the hospital.

She was breathing heavily as she scanned the dark room. _It's over Mimi. _ She thought to herself. _I should be safe here._

"I'm not alone," she whispered quietly. "What the hell am I saying?" Mimi said putting her head in her hands,

"Mimi?" Joanne said quietly. "Meems you up?"

"Yeah," Mimi replied hoping that Joanne wouldn't notice the fact that she was drenched in sweat.

"You okay?"

"I don't know."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I can't talk about it."

"Don't you think it would help? Even a little bit?"

"No."

Mimi got released from the hospital that afternoon. Joanne dropped her off at her apartment and Mimi just sat on her bed afraid to move until the phone rang making her jump. She picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She said quietly.

"Hey babe," She heard Roger say. Just hearing another mans voice made Mimi nervous, even if it was Roger.

"Hi," _God I sound pathetic._

"I kept trying to call you today where were you?"

"Oh I was uh, out with Angel," Mimi lied.

"Why don't you come over to the loft Mark's out filming so we'll have it all to our selves," Roger said suggestively. Mimi didn't say anything. Images of what happened that night kept flashing through her mind and it was almost as if she was frozen there with the phone to her ear. "Mimi?" Finally she found her voice.

"Um, sure," she should before she could say any differently. "I'll be over in a sec."

"All right," Roger said. "Love ya."

"Bye." Mimi put the phone down and stood there. _Calm down._ She thought to herself. _It's Roger. I can trust Roger._ Mimi went into the bathroom, got out her make up, and did the best she could to cover up the bruises and scratches on her face. Once that was done she walked out the door and headed up the stairs to the loft.

When Mimi got inside Roger kissed her tenderly on the lips.

"Hi," he said smiling.

"Hey," she said backing away from him a little. He walked towards her and pulled her close to him. He began to kiss her passionately shoving his tongue in her mouth. Mimi broke the kiss and said, "Roger," but he seemed to just start right we he left off. "Roger," Mimi said pulling away from him again. "Stop."

"Come on Meems," he replied sweetly as he got closer.

"STOP!" Mimi yelled pushing him away. "I SAID STOP!" Roger just stared at his girlfriend. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know what was going on.

"Mimi what?" was all Roger could say.

"I, I can't. I'm sorry Roger I can't."

"Can't what?"

"I, I can't do this. I'm sorry," Mimi said before running out the door crying.

**I know it's really short I'm sorry. Please review! It makes me really happy and I update faster when I get more. I don't know if I'm gonna continue this if no one reviews cause I only got two for the last chapter.**


	4. You're Okay

Chapter Four

"Hey," Collins said when Mark greeted him by the door of the loft. The bohemians had decided to get together that night at the loft. They figured they'd all hang out, drink, the usual.

"Where's Roger?" Angel asked.

"In his room. I don't know what's up but he won't come out." Mark replied. Angel scanned the room. Joanne, Maureen, Mark, Collins, Roger was in his room and her. 1,2,3,4,5,6. Six? Shouldn't there be seven?

"Where's Mimi?" She asked. No one answered. Everyone just looked around and shrugged. Maureen shot Joanne a worried look. "I'll go see if she's at her apartment," Angel said heading for the door.

"Angel wait," Joanne said, but the drag queen didn't hear her.

"Mimi?" Angel said when she reached the apartment door. She tried to open it but it was locked. "Meems? It's Angel," she said pressing her ear to the door. She heard light footsteps as Mimi slowly walked over to the door. The lock clicked and then the door opened. Angel found herself face to face with a girl who was in very bad condition.

"Oh my god," Angel said as she looked her friend over. She still looked pretty beat up (something Roger was obviously oblivious to). The purple bruises on her cheeks, the ones that covered her thin legs and arms, not to mention the stitches on her neck where a large cut had been were hard to miss on her rail thin body. Without saying anything Mimi turned around and walked further into her apartment where she sat down on the bed. Angel followed.

"Mimi," Angel started to say. Her voice was more concerned sounding, but also more firm, more demanding. She was cut off by the phone ringing. The machine picked it up.

"Miss. Marquez, this is detective Carla Hoffs. It's really important that I talk to you. I know it's hard to talk about, but if you would please call me if you remember anything, or know any information that may be significant to the case. 541-7293."

Angel stared at the answering machine. _Detective?_ She thought. _Who the hell was that and what was she talking about?_

"Mimi," Angel began but the Latina let out a small whimpering sound and Angel stopped.

Back at the loft Collins tried to get Roger to come out of his bedroom which was now locked.

"Rog open the door," he said gently. None of them knew why he was in there or what he was doing, but they did know that the last time this happened was after April died.

Ten minutes had passed since Angel left the loft to talk to Mimi and she still hadn't come back. While the others were preoccupied with Roger Joanne whispered to Maureen.

"Honey bear, I know we told her we wouldn't tell Roger but we can't just keep this from him. Hell, we can't keep this from any of them. They deserve to know. Besides, Mimi's health is on the line, mentally as well as physically." She said. Maureen sighed.

"I know," she replied. The two of them stopped talking until Maureen thought of something she hadn't before. She walked over to Roger's bedroom door and pushed Mark and Collins out of the way.

"She broke up with you didn't she?" She asked through the closed door. The locked clicked and Roger opened it.

"How did you?" Was all he could get out. Mark and Collins looked at the drama queen in awe.

"Promise me you won't get mad," Maureen said. Her raven colored hair shone in the light and a worried look was set on her face.

"Get mad? What are you talking about?"

"Promise me Roger,"

"Fine," He said.

"Oh, that's sincere," Maureen said sarcastically.

"Maureen!" Everyone yelled.

"She got raped," Maureen said quietly.

"No, no," Roger said shaking his head in disbelief. Maureen just nodded and stared at the floor. "I'm gonna fucking kill him! Who did this to her?" The rocker was enraged and the room went silent. No one answered and Roger pushed past Collins who was standing in front of him and walked towards the door.

"Roger stop!" Joanne yelled as they all followed him out the door. But he didn't listen, only continued to head down the stairs.

"She came to our apartment," Maureen yelled in an attempt to stop him. "She was in bad shape, she still is. Just don't, don't go down there like this please!"

Roger made it to the door of Mimi's apartment. Inside Mimi and Angel sat on the Latina's bed. Mimi was about to tell her what happened, almost ready to trust a man the way she did before, but Roger threw the door open and headed in. Mimi scooted farther back on the bed in an attempt to create space between her and the rocker.

"Roger what the hell?" Angel said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Roger said to Mimi. He wasn't yelling, he was almost whispering.

"Go away, just go away!" Mimi said putting her head in her hands. This was too much. She looked around her small apartment. There were so many people she just couldn't handle it.

"Mimi," Roger said. He reached out and touched her hand.

"No!" Mimi yelled pulling her hand away. She tried to back up more but ended up falling off the side of the bed. Maureen slowly approached the shaking girl.

"It's okay," she whispered. "You're okay. It's over." Maureen gently pulled Mimi into a hug and the Latina buried her face in the drama queen's shoulder. "Shhh you're okay," Maureen said again.

Everyone else in the room just stood there in shock trying to take in what just happened. Roger stood there and stared at Mimi sadly. That was when he realized that he, her boyfriend, couldn't do anything to help her.

**A/N: Love? Hate? Not sure? REVIEW**


	5. Starting to learn

Chapter Five

Mimi sat in her apartment with all the lights on as she thought about what Maureen and Joanne had said to her earlier.

_Everyone stood still as Maureen rocked Mimi gently back and forth. She whispered into her ear to comfort her and the Latina started to calm down. Joanne turned away from the two of them and faced the others._

_"Hey guys," she said quietly. "Why don't you go back up to the loft. Maureen and I will be there in a second." Collins nodded. He walked over to the bed and took Angel's hand. The two of them reluctantly left. Roger remained where he was but Mark put his hand on his shoulder as if to say "Come on, she'll be okay" and the two left._

_"They're gone sweetie," Joanne said calmly. "It's just me and Mo." Mimi pulled away from Maureen and looked around. She wiped at her eyes but that didn't stop her tears. She was shaking slightly and Maureen helped her off her feet and led her to the bed where the three of them sat down._

_"Mimi," Maureen said. She paused as she tried to find the right words and then continued. "I know you don't want to hear this but Roger would never hurt you. You know that."_

_"Sweetie you have to start to trust people again. I know it's hard, but you have to." When Mimi didn't respond Joanne said, "Okay, well we're going to go back to the loft." She stood up and took Maureen's hand and then added, "Call if you need us."_

It had been about half an hour since that conversation took place and Mimi sat on her bed, in the exact same position, twisting a strand of hair around her finger. Finally, after she couldn't shake Joanne's words from her mind, she stood up and walked out the door.

She slowly climbed the stairs to the loft and when she made it there she hesitated, but went in. She stood in the doorway and saw Roger sitting on the window seat with his guitar. He had been playing it when she walked in but now he just stared at her. It was almost like he didn't believe she was really there.

"Hey," he said so quietly it almost can out a whisper. Mimi let out a small laugh and then said,

"Hey." There was a long silence as the two of them stared across the room at each other. Then Roger spoke.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For everything, earlier today, and coming in there like that."

"You didn't know." Mimi said. She was now staring at her feet. Roger stood up and walked towards his girlfriend, but despite how much Mimi wanted to turn and run she stood there letting Maureen's words replay in her mind. _Roger would never hurt you._ She thought to herself. _Roger would never hurt you. Roger will never hurt me._

Roger stood in front of her, but Mimi refused to look at him. He put his finger under her chin and brought her head up so she was looking at him and said,

"Are you okay?" The Latina burst into tears and Roger pulled her close to him. She rested her head against his chest while he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

Mimi slept on the couch in the loft as she didn't want to be alone but also couldn't deal with being in a bed with a man. Roger had offered her the bed and said he'd sleep on the couch but she refused. At 3 o' clock in the morning though, Mimi wished she had taken him up on that offer.

She laid on the couch clutching the blanket she had pulled to her chin in an attempt to hide herself from the darkness she felt engulfing her. With no light in the room the blackness tricked her eyes and she could've sworn she saw the man who had raped her walking towards her with the same bloody knife he had used to cut her skin before. She closed he eyes and told herself he wasn't really there, she was just seeing things, but when she opened her eyes she saw his face in front of her, his hand reaching out to touch her. She screamed and swung her arms at the image in front of her only to find she was hitting air.

Roger ran out of his bedroom when he heard her scream and turned on the lights. He saw Mimi sitting upright on the couch crying and flailing her arms around.

"Meems," he said as he slowly walked over to her. It was like approaching kitten, moving so slowly you're almost not moving at all just so you won't scare it away. "It's okay," he said. He sat down on the couch and put his hand on her shoulder. She flinched but when she realized it was him she became less tense and feel into his warm body.

"I'm scared Roger," she said through sobs. "I'm so scared."

**A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long to update and that this is so short. I have no life anymore since my homework took over. Hopefully you'll see an update or two when break starts. Thanks to the people who reviewed. I could always use some reviews. hint hint**


	6. Bulldog

Chapter Six

Mimi slowly crawled out of bed. It was only eight but the sun had come in from the windows and was shining on her face.

She walked into the bathroom and over to the mirror. When she looked at herself she was upset by what she saw. The Latina had large bags under her eyes, a few bruises on her face, and a scratch on her neck that she figured would never go away. Just another constant reminder of what had happened.

It had only been a week since the rape but to Mimi it felt like a year. She sighed when she saw a yellow sticky note by the sink. It was the number of the detective trying "solve" her "case". Roger had been leaving the number for her everywhere because she told him she'd call, but the truth was, that Mimi didn't want to call. All she wanted to do was figure out how to make this go away. So, every time Roger asked her if she called the detective she made up a convenient excuse as to why she hadn't. But Mimi gathered that Roger was tired of excuses, and the result was yellow post it notes all over her apartment.

Mimi picked up the note and threw it into the trash. She wasn't sure how she would explain how the notes went missing except that she threw them out, and maybe that was the best thing.

A knock on the door a few minutes later confused Mimi. She wasn't sure who it would be considering the fact that it was 8 o' clock and none of the other Bohemians would be up until at least 10. She walked over to the door but was afraid to open it.

"Who is it?" she yelled hoping she sounded as though she was too preoccupied to deal with the person standing outside rather than too afraid.

"It's Benny," said the person on the other side of the door._ No way._ Mimi thought. She hadn't seen him since last year.

She opened the door and sure enough, Benny was on the other side.

"Can I come in?" he asked when Mimi didn't say anything.

"That depends," she answered. "What for?"

"I just want to talk." Mimi didn't respond. "I heard what happened."

"What? Who told you?"

"Roger."

**A/N: How that's for an update?**


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